It happened again…..

It happened again. I didn't think the universe was capable of such a disastrous shit storm in one day. Rest assured, this disaster day will NEVER beat the original one. But it does give it a run for its money. I’ll share another disaster day which involves public transport, dress socks, thermometers and an escalator.

Monday started off like any other day in paradise. A bone chilling morning of 12 degrees (haha!) at 6am to get dressed and catch the Sydney bus to work.  I was running late and forgot my cup of tea to take on the bus. It seems to be whenever I forget my tea the day never seems to start properly. I got on the bus which is always packed with an entertaining assortment of people. There’s the trades men, uni students, the crazy Chinese lady that wears all black and yells at everyone in Mandarin and the odd homeless person. I put my headphones in and mind my own business every morning otherwise someone will try and convert you to being a Jehovah’s witness in the 16 minute bus ride to railway square. True story bro. Got to railway square and went to buy a pie and cup of tea because the ones I made were still at home on the counter. I was going through my bag looking for my wallet only to realize someone had either stolen it on the bus or I’d dropped it (either one is completely convincing).After a fit of swearing and looking like the English version of the crazy Chinese lady on the bus, I had to call the bank in Canada and cancel all my bank cards. Here I was, 7 am without any money, bus cards, bank cards or id. This day could only get better, right? Managed the hour bus ride to work without any incidents and then commenced my 15 minute walk up the 90 degree hill. Okay, slight exaggeration but this hill is incredibly steep. It leaves you puffing and panting like a kid at fat camp that just had to do a 100m dash for a Twinkie.  As I was puffing and panting, it suddenly dawned on me that I had left my work socks at home and had nothing to wear with my steel cap boots!! I even went to a 7/11 looking for socks with no luck. When I got to work and explained my situation, my chef lent me a pair he had in his bag. He’s a bit of a rough-around-the edges, typical English lad. He smokes like a fiend, is a bit of a grub and can be the meanest bastard when he wants to be. He pulled these dress socks out of his bag that were animated with speech bubbles that had BAM! & POW POW!! And WTF?? Written all over them. Not to mention that they had holes in the heels and in the toes of them. Considering all circumstances, I wasn’t even going to question the last time they’d been graced by the washing machine. Beggars can’t be choosers I suppose! The day went by a little bit better than the morning. I made carrot cakes, 2 trays of brownies, caramel slice and a ton of hors d’oeuvres for a cocktail party. As I was taking the brownies out of the 350/180 degree oven, the thermometer on the rack fell off and landed on the top of my hand. It sat there for a few seconds and then I managed to shake it off. I couldn’t do that until I put the tray of brownies down otherwise hot brownie batter would have landed all over me.  As this day went from bad to worse, I decided to leave work early and would go back to Campbelltown to catch the footy/rugby game with Alex and Simon. I was trying to get out of work by 2:00 to get the bus. My boss kept calling me every 5 minutes just asking the dumbest questions and wanting to rant about everything. I ended up missing my first bus and then when the second bus came round, it was running ahead of schedule and did not stop to pick me up!! Fast forward a few hours, I hastily showered and ran for the bus. Go figure with the lucky streak I was having that day, the bus was running late which delayed me catching the train back to Campbelltown. What happened at the train station the icing on the cake.

Just a little side story…

Once upon a time, in a magical place called the Eaton’s centre in downtown Toronto, my dad was out shopping and had me in a little beach stroller/pram. My dad was still pretty new at the whole parenting situation and was pretty excited to be out with me. As we were going down an escalator, my dad had failed to notice the sign which said strollers/prams had to be turned around in order to prevent your baby from falling out and killing themselves. As we were going down, I stood up in the pram, dad lost grip and I went tumbling down the escalator with the pram still attached to me. My dad just about died of a heart attack running down the escalator expecting a dead baby in the pram at the bottom. Fortunately I was still alive (obviously, I wouldn’t be writing this if I wasn’t!) and appeared fine. Dad rushed me to St. Michael’s Hosiptal which is a convenient 250metres from the shopping centre and had me checked for a broken head and bones. I wonder if they built the hospital there for all the first time dads who’s kids fling themselves down escalators! The Doctor said what actually saved my life was a toque/beanie. The one dad put on my head was wayyy too big so he had to roll it a few times to fit me. For every step of the escalator I hit, the toque was there taking the brunt of the beating. Rumour has it I came out of that battle with some pretty legit escalator step marks embedded into my forehead!

Back to the train station in Sydney…

Due to delayed buses and my utter lack of organization, I was running behind to catch the train back for the game. I had about 2 and half minutes to get from one side of the station to the other. I was so determined to get on that train I was running at full speed. Imagine a klutzy giraffe running at full speed and trying to catch a train, that’s pretty much me! I was running up an escalator and suddenly lost my footing. Rather than falling down, I miraculously fell up on the escalator. My iPhone hit the step, then hand and my forehead. Instead of a beanie, an iPhone saved me my splitting my head open and looking like an idiot in the middle of central station. The metal case on my phone has a dent and a piece missing but I can deal with that. Better than looking like Nelly with a band aid across my forehead! I also owe some credit to my shoes too. I lost a row of gold metal studs on the front of my shoe which also slowed my feet down and prevented me from falling down the steps. On a plus side – I made it back to Campbelltown for 6:57 and the kick off was at 7!! and really, 2 for 2 on escalator incidents resulting in no stitches, comas or life threatening blood loss is a pretty lucky streak if you ask me.  

Seems like I don’t have little tidbits of bad stuff that happen here and there. It’s all or nothing with the southern hemisphere. I’m ready for round three universe!

This is going to be a kadoozle of a blog…

GOOD MORNING!! It’s been a little while since I have updated this and I know I left you guys with a bit of a cliff hanger (haha!) on the last post. As per usual, work, life, burnt batches of cookies and unfathomably early mornings got in the way of keeping this on its fortnight roster. I've decided for this blog there will be two parts to it. One on a bit more of a deep & meaningful perspective (god bless those D&M conversation days) and then of course just a filler on some more funny stuff I've encountered on at work, on public transportation and just everywhere else I seem to go. Go grab a double double, a cup of tea or a JD and coke and make yourself cozy.

It takes a village to raise a child…

Here’s the deep and meaningful bit I have to get out of the way. So judging by the title, you’ve probably assumed I’m going to go on some kind of a parenting rant and rope the government into it too. Quite the opposite, actually. In the last four months I’ve been here, a few friends have announced they’re expecting (congratulations!) and others are trying. It is absolutely inevitable that I’ve reached my twenties. My newsfeed on facebook is no longer bombarded with beer pong championship pictures and blackout status updates and tweets. Now, it’s engagement announcements, pregnancy posts and the “my life is over, my kid can hold their own spoon so next week they’re gonna ask me for a lexus” updates. But hey, we’re all in this together. SO, with all this talk of babies and all of us 20-somethings growing up, it has got me thinking about how important it is to support friends having kids and to be there for them whenever possible. To think that they’re raising a tiny little human with an ‘empty slate’ and you can influence them, for better or for worse, is a little mind boggling! It’s quite humbling to realize that you have the ability, skills and responsibility to empower and enlighten such a young, vulnerable mind. With great power comes great responsibility. Last week, I was taking the bus home from central Sydney in peak rush hour. The bus was packed to the nines and sweltering hot. 20 minutes into the bus trip, a mum about 35 years old got onto the bus with a rather cranky, hungry and tired two year old. This kid’s screaming could have been heard from miles away and I’m pretty sure it curdled a few peoples blood. By this time, there was an old woman (about 65-70 years old) seated beside me and mumbling to herself. When this mum got on the bus with her temperamental toddler, she just about had a kitten. She yanked out my one ear phone to get my attention and started whinging to me about the situation. “Can you believe this?” she said “The nerve of this mother bringing on her toddler onto a packed bus in the middle of rush hour. What a little tramp!” Of all the people on the bus, I expected this older woman to be the first to offer a helping hand to try and calm this kid down. But instead, something completely unexpected happened. The “Gen Y’s” stepped up to the plate. iPhones and ear buds were tucked away and four 20-something year old uni students started playing games with this little kid and shared their fruit snacks with him. This kid had an ear-to-ear grin and the whole bus could sense this frazzled mother’s appreciation. I’m sure most of the people on the bus expected an older person to try and calm this toddler down. “Gen Y” is often too criticized for being ultra-vain, narcissistic and facebook obsessed. Maybe we are to some degree. But, strip us of all that, we’re not all that bad. We’ve been taught well by our parents and are one of the more caring and understanding generations. We aren’t likely to scorn that mother bringing the toddler on the packed bus, but instead help her out and make everyone’s bus ride home a little bit better. We’re a generation that grew up in a rapidly changing time with everything from politics to technology. We’ve grown up without ever having to really make sacrifice but we are true victims of sky-high divorce rates and evolving families. We’re a little lazy at times because we were spoon fed too much in life. Yet we’re harshly criticized when we don’t have the adequate skills to complete a job or live our lives as proper functioning adults. Maybe one day, the older generation will come to realize we’re not as bad as we’re pegged to be. We’re rather different and narcissistic, but take some time to break down our barrier and we’re a good bunch. Don’t let a few rotten apples spoil the bushel. 

The Unforeseen Joys of Employment…

I think there comes a point in every young professional’s work life that they have to suppress the urge(s) to hijack their workplace, strip everyone naked and make them perform a conga line. You’ll obviously oversee everything and laugh like the raging lunatic you indeed are. I’m coming a little bit close to this point so instead of a sadistic, sweaty, XXX conga line; I’m going to blog about it and hopefully find some humour in this dark, long tunnel.

To fully wrap your head around this blog, I need to fill you in about where I’m working. I’m gainfully employed by a little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop in the CBD (Central Business District) in downtown Sydney. I’m a two minute walk away from Circular Quay, Harbour Bridge and the Sydney Opera House. The CBD is filled with all kinds of interesting people – business people (obviously, duh!), CEOs, the odd morning-after hooker and some homeless people that could be mistaken for the lead singer of a Swedish death metal band. There’s even one guy that periodically wears an eye patch so we call him Captain Hook. The majority of the CBD population are the business people or as I say “frat boys that only slightly grew up”. The boys are hilarious, just like in their high school glory days as jocks, they still travel as a crew and get the exact same matching haircuts (still stuck in 2002 with the frosted tips and gel), get their weekly manicures (I’m not even kidding) and suit up in almost identical suits every day. They usually come into our shop in a rush on their blackberries (yea, they’re basically labelling themselves as walking dinosaurs with one of those things) and order their coffee while in the middle of a conference call. I’ve become quite good at knowing when they’re on a conference call or if their wife is on the other line giving them shit for leaving the lid up, again. When they’re on a conference call, they try to be as quiet as possible because technically they’re not supposed to be out of the office. Because most of these financial jockeys are so rude, I’m as loud as possible and will always confirm their order before ringing it through the register.  You become an expert of receiving cut eye when you do this 10-15 times a day! Some of the lads are just lovely and make your day. Like Levi. He’s the grouchiest yet happiest gay man I’ve ever met. And he’s got the same name as my dog so it’s always a pleasure seeing his grouchy/bewildered mug first thing in the morning for his 6 coffees he has to get for the office (I think someone is the office b*tch!) And then there are the ladies…

LADIES!!

Boy o boy are you ever a confusing lot! You’ll cut every corner possible to keep you mama fuel skinny and healthy (and make it very clear to me it HAS to be skim milk and organic coffee beans) but then order a chocolate croissant with butter on the side. For realz? Just like the financial jockeys, you travel in a pack like the mean girls and are so critical of every other posse that crosses your path. I’ve never witnessed more walking twigs either. You’d give the Paris fashion week a run for its money, no doubts about that. So many fake eye lashes, hair extensions and spray tans. It almost makes me start doubting myself and thinking there’s something wrong with me! There’s a trio of really bitchy, twiggy ladies that come in usually every morning. They each order a skinny latte and a bottle of San Pellegrino. They order the san pan because they say it fills them up the same as food but without the calories.  We call them the pussy cat dolls. Their ‘leader’ of that clique even looks like that 40-something lead singer of the pussycat dolls; Nicole something or other. The one that sings about boobies and groupies, that chick.  To all the ladies balancing work, home life, spray tan dates and “dates” with their sizzling personal trainer (and yes, I unfortunately have had the pleasure of hearing all your steamy secrets and new “workout positions” one too many times) – we salute you!

This one’s for tha hisptas…

To the ultra hipster Jack White, please come back. You’re a breath of fresh air with your perfectly groomed “V for Vendetta” styled mo and chin beard. Your nose ring and rim horned glasses make me laugh uncontrollably because I’m 99% sure both are fake and purely aesthetic. Your pain-in-the-ass need for gluten and dairy free soup and a cup of coffee you never drink hot can be taken care of at our hole-in-the-wall shop. But at least you’re pleasant and have manners unlike the financial jockeys. For the crazy feminist chick in her grunge Nirvana jacket and likely unshaved armpits, power to the anti-Pussy cat dolls of the girl world! I love it when you call people out that jump spots in the line because they’re on a “conference call”. But hell hath no fury greater than you when your coffee isn’t made right either. I guess it’s a double edged blade with you.

Stay tuned for part 2 about the nut cases I work with J

KCCO 

If you buy a girl a cheeseburger...

If you buy a girl a cheeseburger...

(A tale similar yet nothing like the childhood classic “If you give a mouse a cookie”)

Another short story by Kelly Macintosh.

In a land far, far away where the kangaroos frolic with the people – wait, sorry. That’s not how this story starts at all!

The past week had some more interesting events which are just too good to not tell you about, dear reader. As I've come to learn with my traveling, you have to understand that everything which happens is another opportunity to learn something new and expand your horizons. Well, my horizons are certainly wider now. All thanks to a lot of cheap drinks, a bad date, a cheeseburger and a Russian girl. (God, this sounds like the beginning of a cheesy adult novelty porno book haha!)

The past weekend was my boyfriend’s birthday. A big group of us got together in downtown Sydney to have some drinks and celebrate Alex’s birthday. We started the night off at a backpacker’s hostel called Bar Century. It has always smelled like vomit and stale beer every time I’ve been there but it never fails for having a good time and cheap $3 drinks. Finding cheap drinks in Australia is kind of like finding a leprechaun. When you do, you keep it all to yourself and not tell anyone else about it. It’s quite normal to pay $7-$10 for a single vodka soda in Oz. Don’t even get me started on the $15 price tag for a vodka redbull that was only 75 cents in Thailand! So here we were at Bar Century with our drinks and having a grand ol’ time like we always do.  There was a girl sitting by the pokies (slot machines/fruities) who kept looking over at us and giving a rather pleading/ “please save me” look.  She was sitting there with two other guys and looked so incredibly miserable on top of it all. I told Alex to go over and offer to buy her a drink to get her away from it. He said he wouldn’t do it so I took matters into my own hands and did it myself. I went over and said “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” She looked at me all bewildered and just replied with “You? Me?” It clicked in my mind what she was thinking and all I could blurt out was “No! I’m not a lesbian, I just want to buy you a drink!” Off we went to the bar and I explained I was buying her a drink to get her out of her awkward double date scenario if that’s what she needed. She was very grateful for the drink and invitation to join our group. Several drinks later, we decided we all needed to refuel and hungry jack’s (burger king) was the solution. We invited this girl, Julia, to come with us and so she did. She ditched the two boys she went to the bar with and came along with us for some burgers and more drinks at the scary canary (awesome name, eh?). Julia was at the end of her travels and was pretty much broke. I  know how that feels and decided for some good karma I would buy her some food and drinks for the rest of the night. She only had a week and a half left in Sydney before she was heading back home to Germany (but she is originally from Mother Russia). FORWARD MARCH!! We arrived at the Scary Canary around midnight and girls didn't have to pay an entry fee either – boobs rock! This is when things took a turn. Julia and I were on the dance floor and she was rocking it like a bauss.  This German guy came up to me and was asking about Julia and if she was single. Judging by the looks on that girl’s face, kitty was hungry and ready to kill! I told the German guy she was actually single AND German so he could probably seal the deal. He went to speak to her and then came back to me within a minute claiming she didn't speak German! I went to her after and asked why she didn’t talk to him even if they can speak the same language. She said she wasn't interested in him. Yet, this girl had the most gleaming, determined look in her eye to find a “2am snack”.  Later on in the night, she said she was off the bar for a drink. 5 minutes later she came back to the dance floor, but a fishbowl was missing. I thought nothing of it at the time and kept dancing with her. 1:30am made its infamous appearance and we decided to call it a night. The dance floor felt like a sauna and there were people hooking up left right and centre. When we were all saying goodbye, I asked Julia to take my number to let me know she had arrived home safely. She suddenly became lost for words and kept looking around (maybe in the hopes something surreal would happen to be an ultimate distraction). Alex piped up that I didn’t need to give her my number because he already had hers. I’m a believer in the world of strange and unknown things but I highly doubt he received her phone number via telekinesis. I had too much to drink to connect all the dots so I just gave her two kisses on the cheek and said goodnight. On the cab ride home, everything suddenly dawned on me. When she had gone off to get her “drink”, she went to Alex and gave him her phone number and told him to call her! As we were all saying goodbye and giving kisses before getting in the cab, she whispered to him to call her because she only had 10 more days left in Sydney. And it only gets better too!! On our way home in the taxi, I asked Alex to call Julia and see what she was looking really looking for. The called summed it all up – she was looking to hook up with him during the next week and a half she had left in Sydney. The bloody nerve of this girl!!! Here I decided to take this girl under my wing by buying her drinks and a cheeseburger and inviting her to hang out with us. And how does she show her thanks? By trying to hook up with Alex. Honest to God, what the frig is wrong with girls?!?!?!

Lesson Learned: Don’t buy a girl a cheeseburger. You’ll end up getting burned. No pun intended. 

The Best Recorded Disaster Day Ever

To Anyone Who Knows Me Well Enough....

To anyone who knows me well enough, you know I am rather klutzy, disaster prone and have now been diagnosed with ADOS ( Attention Deficit OH! Shiny!). I'm a little scatter brained and having gangly giraffe limbs that can make for some funny and incredibly awkward moments. I'm willing to share one of the funniest days I've ever had with you , blog followers. Now before anyone wants to criticize me for using this as a personal diary, perhaps I am. But you're the one reading it, yea? So grab a cup of tea and hold onto the edge of your seats.

This story all starts on a dewy misty morning in the cozy suburb of Leumeah, just south of Sydney. I had to wake up at 4am to catch the 5:04 train to the city for work. I'm working as a barista/cafe girl/pastry chef in downtown Sydney and LOVE my job. It's totes magotes one of the best jobs I've ever had. I had some catering to do for Virgin Australia that had to be dropped off for 8 am so I was in to work rather early that morning. Before I left, I cut down a 4 foot tall banana leaf off the banana tree in Alex's front yard. I was planning to use it for the base of my platters. So here I was, at 4:45 in the morning, walking towards the train station with a 4 foot banana leaf in tow. The cafe I work in is a bit more upscale so I wear a dress and jewellery everyday. When I was crossing the crosswalk to get to the train station, three young guys in a car honked their horn at me. I nearly jumped out of my skin but flipped a bird at them and carried on with my banana leaf. When I finally got to the station, I was walking up a flight of stairs to get to the platform. This trades man in a bright orange sweater stopped me on my way up and said "Excuse me miss, your dress is tucked into your tights." When I looked, to my horror, the right side of my skirt was completely tucked into my tights exposing undies and all! I must have looked like a right nut case, skirt tucked into my tights and a huge banana leaf. And this was only the beginning.....

The morning went smoothly a work until lunch time rolled around. My boss had made a beautiful mushroom and rosemary pureed soup which was so nice. One of my co-workers was carrying a 16 litre bucket of the soup and lost grip of it. Approximately 14 litres of soup splashed all over my tights and dress and my other co-worker standing beside me.I somehow managed to get all the soup off my tights but 15 minutes it had dried out and my tights went stiff as if they were frozen.And they stunk like mushrooms which made it all the worse.  

My day finally finished at 5 pm after starting at 6:15 - seemed by noon the day was never going to end. I went to circular quay to catch the train home. Circular quay is a beautiful station, when you stand on the platform, you get a million dollar view of the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Sydney Opera House and all the ferries. It's a nice way to start and end a work day. So I was chilling at the station, reading the newspaper. I had literally just finished reading an article about a certain type of spider in Darwin (North Oz) that can eat snakes. As I was flipping the pages of the paper, I could feel something tickling up my leg. I thought it was a spider. I went to flick it off my leg only to realize it was a 7-8 cm cockroach running up my mushroom soaked tights!!! For all my Torontonians reading, you know cockroaches aren't too common a thing back home because it's usually too cold for them. In South East Asia and Oz, they're everywhere because it's perfect breading temperatures for them. So with a running cockroach that almost went up my skirt, I flung my newspaper and viciously started slapping my leg to get this demon creature off of me. When victory was mine, I looked around only to see a young couple laughing at me and a sour-puss faced old lady. The young couple had witnessed the whole debacle and were in hysterics. The old lady had only seen me fling my newspaper and release a blue streak of awful words that would put a sailor to shame. She put her finger over her lips and made the notion for me to be quiet. I wasn't about to explain the mushroom tights vs. cockroach situation to her so I just rolled my eyes and carried on with my own business. People these days, sheesh !!

The icing on the cake, here we go. I managed to get home in one magical piece. Alex picked me up at the station and took me to the local pub for dinner. I ordered a thin crust garlic pizza which was great. While we were eating, I was telling him about my day from the banana leaf to the cockroach in a fit of laughter between bites of pizza. We finished up and went through the main part of the pub to get back to the parking lot. As I was walking through the main part, a table full of ghetto-fab girls looked at me and started laughing. I assumed it was out of sheer envy (lolz!) but then took a double glance at my self. Yep, there was a piece of pizza crust hanging off the thread of my scarf. For fox sakes!!!!

That's all for now kids. I'll be updating again soon about the new place and all the other schnenagings that have happened since moving "downunda!". Until then, kcco to all <3

I'm a terrible blogger....

To anyone who possibly still follows this, I can;t begin to say how sorry I am. Life got in the way of blogging and all its goodness. I'll pick up where I left off. Last time I was in Phuket in +45 heat and a UV index through the roof. I took a bus ride with a Swiss German girl, Debi, that I met in my hostel in Bangkok.  We took a 22 hour bus ride to Phuket after a long night of drinking the night before at Route 66 in Bangkok. Route 66 was fantastic - $30 for all you can drink in 6 litre buckets. They had coat and gun check at the front door when you got there. Had such a fun night with the girls there. Minus the one douche bag that decided to put ice and vodka in my shoes that I left under the table! Left for Phuket the next morning on a 22 hour bus ride from hell. The air conditioning was 50/50 on the bus, the toilet was just a bucket and I'm pretty sure our driver was drunk. We made 2 stops in 22 hours at these seedy seedy trucker stops along the highway. The vendors up the price on everything and then even charge you for toilet paper if you need to use the toilet!! Arriving in Phuket though, it was 100% worth it. The hostel I stayed at was a 5 minute walk away from Patong Beach and 15 minutes from Bangla Road. Bangla Road is just chock a block with shopping, bars and strip clubs. Had so much fun during the 5 days I was there with Debi. We met a British brother and sister that we hung out with for the 5 days. So much tanning and fun with them - classic moment when Richard didn't pay his tuk tuk fare and the driver was chasing him with a bamboo rod full of rice and rocks for the $5 fare. 


I've been in Sydney for 6 weeks now. The first month was absolutely great. Alex and I took a 5 day road trip to the mountains, Melbourne and along the great ocean road to the 12 apostles and sights along the shore. We even picked up an Irish hitch hiker outside of Melbourne. She was trying to get to Perth which is like trying to get from Toronto to Vancouver! Since then I've been to a 21st costume dress up party as the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland. I've been to Matt and Courtney's wedding with Alex and had a ball. Also managed to get a fantastic job in downtown as a barista and now I am working as a pastry chef too! Been a wonderful first month in Australia and I'm so keen to see what the next year has to bring. That's all for now untli I have more time for a bigger update. Thanks for reading <3

Let's question humanity a little bit right now....

Been in Thailand for a little shy of three weeks. It's been a great trip minus a few setbacks. Visas, motorcycles, mosquitoes, spiders. You name it, I've probably encountered it somehow. That's before the hooker cat calls and Indian men trying to tell a "bootiful lady" her lucky fortune. Anyways (!), I'm back in Bangkok for one more day until I go to the white sand beaches of Phuket for a 5 days of tanning and relaxing. This morning I took a shower and finally figured out how to get hot water. Cold showers suck when you really need to wash your hair. Any girl will totally understand what I'm saying! Took a shower and went back to my dorm only to discover my iPod was missing. 4 girls checked out of the hostel in the time I was taking a shower, so I have absolutely no idea who took it. I'm not even all that upset that they stole my iPod, that's replaceable. It's the pictures of me and my grandmother and me and my cousin from our time in Edinburgh that I can't get back. And not to forget all my Chive photos. I thought it was an unspoken rule among travelers that you don't touch other people's stuff in dorms. All I know is, there's such a thing as Karma. It will find that girl and bite her hard in the ass when the time is right. That's all I can hope for. 

But for some amazing good news, I'm going to Australia in 6 days! I was approved for a one year work visa so it's off to sunny Sydney for me! Can't wait to be in a country where I'm not going to be side swiped by a tuk tuk, can speak English and get a hot shower. And be with a lot of really great people. You know who you are! For the first time in a long time, I feel happy with my life. It's the greatest euphoria knowing you can go anywhere you want, whenever you want. No babies, no mortgages, no boyfriend, no commitments. Just pure, growing freedom. Fuck I haven't felt this great in probably 5 years. Who knew living out of two knapsacks could do that for you. 

Off to Phuket for 5 days of +45 and a UV index that will probably destroy my ginger skin. I'll be sure to put some pictures up. And then it's off to Sydney to start a new chapter of my life. Never felt so scared, nervous and excited all at once!!

Greetings from Thailand!

Right, sorry its been a while since I've updated this. Its been an absolute whirlwind the last two weeks here in Thailand. I arrived in Bangkok after 27 hours of travelling. Had a 9 hour stop in Dubai which was pretty good. The Dubai airport is really beautiful and something different. Marble floors everywhere, immaculately clean and top notch service everywhere you go. Got to Bangkok after a long flight and felt like I'd stepped into an oven when I got there! I got to customs at about 6:30 at night and it was still about +32 at night. The cab ride to my hostel was a total white knuckle ride. Pretty much in Thailand, if there's space on the road, you drive. Lanes painted on the high way are null and void and speed limits are a casual suggestion. After a 140 km/hour cab ride to the hostel, the cab driver tried to drop me off at the W Hotel in downtown Bangkok rather than my hostel. No way in hell I could afford a $200/night hotel! Got to my hostel and slept from 10 at night til 4:30 the next afternoon. I only woke up because there was a really nice British girl in my dorm, Rachel, who kept checking on me every few hours. When she woke me up, she was super relieved. She didn't know I'd been travelling for so long and was as jet lagged as I was. She thought I'd been drugged and had overdosed in my dorm bed!! I got really lucky and went to the Sky Bar with Rachel and her friends. Same place where they filmed "The Hangover 2". Let's just say a bottle of water cost me $10 US. Unless you go with a sugar daddy, there's no way you can personally afford to drink there!

I met some absolutely amazing travelers since I've been in Thailand. Lots of Germans, Aussies and Brits. Such a stellar bunch of people to know. Best part about it all is when people travel, there's next to no judgement. Everyone take care of another because you understand one another's situation. Spent some time with people and went to Koh Sahn Road in Bangkok which is the main tourist drag. The only way I can accurately describe it is Adult Disney World. Dirty as hell and super seedy haha. You can buy everything on Koh Sahn from lap dances to brass knuckles to souvenir t-shirts! The bars are jam packed all the time. We did Thai Buckets which have half a mickey of Thai whiskey, and 6 more shots of rum and cointreau. They're easily shared with 2 other people. Getting on a 2 hour bus ride the next day in blistering heat was not the most fun I've ever had. The temple ruins were absolutely beautiful. They're UNESCO protected sights and so nicely preserved. That day though the mercury hit a whopping +45 and I felt so sick. Really made me miss the snow and cold temperatures from back home. I was in Bangkok for a total of 8 days which in my opinion is about 7 and a half days too many. There are lots of great places to go and things to see in Bangkok but it just starts to wear you out the longer you stay. It's just non stop in Bangkok 24/7 between the night markets, strip clubs, bars and souvenir vendors. And that's even before the traffic which is perma-congested. I got the treat of taking a tuk tuk ride through the downtown in rush hour with 4 other people. These tuk tuks are only meant to hold about 2 ordinary sized people or one really fat white man that is prowling Bangkok for an underage teenage girlfriend. We somehow fit 5 of us in one of these. I sat on the metal floor, right above the exhaust. Felt like my shorts were gonna start on fire after the 20 minute ride! Just learned over time that everything, for better or for worse, is an experience.

I've just come back from northern Thailand in Chaing Mai and Pai. Just getting out of Bangkok was a treat! Chaing Mai is nice but Pai is a slice of paradise. It's a small town of less than one square kilometer. It's a nice mix of locals and then a lot of hippies and wandering 20-somethings looking for life's answers. It's the kind of place where you order lunch at a little cafe and it takes 30 minutes for a simple toast and tea. But it's so relaxed with the incense and "laissez-faire" attitude that you talk to the other travelers and 3 hours pass by in the blink of an eye. The bungalow we stayed at was so nice. Hammocks on the porch and two bathrooms in the bungalow. Oh, and geckos that do their mating calls in the bathroom when you're in the middle of showering! Best part, only $6.50 a night which includes breakfast the next morning and a little wading pool where you can cool your feet off. Now it's back to Bangkok for 2-3 days until I figure off where to go in the south for some fun in the sun!

Edinburgh

Greetings Frae Bonnie Scotland !

Welcome to my blog. I have always thoughts blogs were kinda a douche trend but I realized it's far easier than sending a million emails.

So I've been in Scotland for just three weeks now. I decided to come visit my family before leaving on a year trek to south east Asia. It's been great to be back in Scotland. If you know me well enough, you know how much I love coming back and consider it home. It's been a fantastic three weeks minus a sinus infection and hardcore jet lag. 

Got to spend time with my cousin and go to Dundee for a night out with the boys. When we go to the University bar in Dundee they almost weren't going to let me in until Colin told the bouncer some joke about Canadians from How I Met Your Mother.

"How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?"

"Oh nooo! Who turned oot the lights?!"

Apparently everyone else finds that hilarious, I just straight up don't get it! My friend Laura from Toronto was in Glasgow and met me in Edinburgh last Wednesday. We went to St. Andrews and along the coast the one day and then went to Edinburgh for a long weekend. Stayed at a quirky bohemian hostel in the downtown core. It was so cool meeting people from all over the place. Started the weekend at a 1950's style speak easy called the Voodoo Rooms for cocktails before dinner with my aunt and uncle. The night only got better with with a pub crawl that finished at 5am! We went to so many bars and met so many awesome people - met a couple from Newcastle England that looked like they were from Geordie Shore. For those of you who don't know, Geordie Shore is the British version of Jersey Shore but only more orange and hilarious. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETd-yBZxoME

This pretty much sums up the show. Mint! After the pub crawl and a rather hungover Saturday we went on a ghost tour of the underground tunnels of Edinburgh. It was the most eerie and haunted feeling. There was no one there to scare you, just absolute darkness and a weird smell. 

We went to a dance cave that night, Club Voltaire,  which was so much fun! There were two different rooms spinning different tracks and it was packed in there! Cheap drinks, good tunes and lots & lots of dancing all night! Some drunk bitty stepped on my foot with her high heels and bruised my foot up. Eugh! 

Spent all day Sunday wandering about the city and the Grassmarket. If you haven't been here, you gotta come to Scotland. Words don't do this country justice. We had the sun shining and lots of hills and stairs to climb all over the city. Finished the night off with some dinner and pints with our fav Aussie, Alex. All in all, great weekend in the city with great dancing, strong drinks and even better people.

Off to Thailand on Thursday. Fly to Dubai and then to Bangkok - +32 and 76% humidity, yeah I'll be alright.

<3